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The dates that went on during December of 2016 are hard to tell in anything resembling a “chronological order.” I was going on something like 7-8 dates a week – one time even 3 in one day. I was giddy with choice, and loving every second of it.
One of the people I went out with during this time was Alien Girl. She sent me a text one morning that she’d “had a bacon for breakfast,” and I decided she must be an alien.
It just sounded like something an alien in disguise would say. Like, “Ah, what did I have for breakfast, you ask? Umm….. [SEARCHING HUMAN CULTURAL DATABASE] Why yes, I had a bacon.”
Me: I’m going to tell her I know she’s an alien
Cute Boy: Oh my GOD do not do that. She’s going to think you’re a weirdo.
Naturally I ignored this advice and sent her the following text.