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• 920 words • 4 min •
NOTE: Sorry this episode is so late, and so disjointed. My life’s been a bit of a mess recently, and on top of that – Sandoval’s story is an emotional one for me, as you’ll see in this episode and the next two. Please have patience!!
Did I mention Sandoval was ten years older than me? He officially has the biggest age gap of anyone I’ve ever dated. I was intimidated by the writing career he’d already had, his vocabulary and experiences I didn’t share. But I found him fascinating. He was charming and silly, went along with all of my weirdness – from making him download Snapchat to listening to me gush about every cool thing I was reading or playing.
I tend to flirt by teasing people, so of course I teased him about being old any chance I got.
“Be careful,” he said once. “I’m not afraid to pull out the ‘you’re picking on an old blind guy’ card.”
He introduced me to Fallen London, a game that let me play as a nonbinary gender, or as the game called it a “Person of Mysterious and Indistinct Gender.” I absolutely loved this, and love Fallen London for having an inclusive nonbinary option. Sandoval began referring to me by my Fallen London gender in real life, which was hilarious and amazing.
Sandoval was so much fun to talk to, bounce ideas off of, engage in nerdy debates out of nowhere with. I talked about him all the time, and our conversations bled over into my relationships with everyone else. I endured a lot of teasing for this. I was so excited about this new person I’d found and every amazing, hilarious thing that he did or said or thought.
He was a very bright spot during a couple of heartbreaking weeks. I finally severed ties with my best friend, and I was… lost. And mourning. Countless times every day I’d pick up my phone to text her or forward her a meme… and then remember we were over. Chris works nights and Cute Boy lives 40 minutes away, and there were a lot of nights when I just needed to be around someone so I didn’t spend all night crying on my couch.