Polycule: Axe Throwing Guy – Part One

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• 3500~ words •10-18 min •

I originally clicked on Axe Throwing Guy’s profile because in his picture, he was cuddling a sugar glider.

If you have no idea what that is, it’s like a type of flying squirrel? it’s fuzzy, it’s small, it has big eyes. It’s adorable.

a sugar glider in the palm of someone's hand
I’m adorable!

Basically I wanted to date the sugar glider. Or at least date the boy long enough to get into close enough proximity to the sugar glider, that I could cuddle it and love it forever and maaaaybe squirrel it away in my pocket (pun!) and flee into the night.