Polycule: Get Out of My Car

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• 1756 words • 7-8 min •

[Mild-ish content warning: some fatphobic comments and gross sex/bodily function stories.]

Let’s talk about my second date with Smiley, cause the first date was a basic coffee shop date that was so standard, I don’t even really remember it. Except for the part where he loudly talked about his mom getting high before his surgery and a lengthy description of a prostate exam in which he shit into a nurse’s hand. Maybe I blocked the rest out.

The second date was weeks later. Smiley is tall, loud, very expressive, and has no filter (obviously). He’s kind of a giant goofball who doesn’t really think before he acts (see first date). Most of his text messages to me came with numerous exclamation marks!!!!!! And he would randomly toss out adorable facts like he’s terrified of spiders and makes his girlfriend kill them for him, or when he was little he wanted to change his middle name to Snowman.

Polycule: “I’m Kind of Generic”

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• 1300 words • 5-6 min •

As promised… the second terrible date I’ve been on recently. This one, thankfully, was less terrifying. He respected every boundary I had, and was perfectly polite and nice.

But, uh. That was… that was about it.

Recently-ish, I’ve been open to dating couples. I’ve never done it before, and read some cute triad romance novels that gave me starry-eyed daydreams about it. Plus, it was something I thought would be really interesting to write about for Polycule (haha! I am shameless). There will be a lot more on that at a much later date (pun).

So this guy – Mr. Generic – responded to that, and said he’d show my picture to his wife and tell her about me and see if she was interested.

Polycule: A Big Scoop of Nope

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• 2530 words • 10 min •

I have been writing these Polycule episodes in chronological order, tracking my dating life steadily through fall of 2016. But in the past month I have had two of the worst dates ever. Knowing I would have to wait over a YEAR before sharing these bad dates if I followed my schedule was causing me so much anguish. I had to tell you NOW.

Polycule: Chris

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• 2900 words • 12 min •

Happy 11th birthday to our relationship!

Today’s episode of Polycule is going to be special, a slight deviation from the norm. For one thing, it takes place in the past. But for another, it has comments from Chris himself interspersed throughout in purple. I wrote this piece, and read it to him, and recorded his actual commentary. So… enjoy Chris and I’s love story!

[Why don’t I get a fancy nickname??? Why am I just Chris?? I want a fancy nickname!]

You see, on this day, at 2:18 in the morning, eleven years ago, Chris told me he liked me. And I texted back, telling him to call me because “I am not having the most important conversation of my life via text message.”

Polycule: Birdy

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• 1900 words • 7-8 min •

Birdy’s name is not, in fact, Birdy. I use code names for everyone I talk about on this blog, but this one actually asked me to call her by a code name. I had messaged her online, and we didn’t have a ton in common, but enough (especially fantasy novels and nerdy pursuits) that I felt like it was worth a shot… until she told me her name.

Which was the same as my birth name.

Marie Landry: Making it Work

Today I am proud to host Marie Landry talking about how she…

Today I am proud to host Marie Landry talking about how she keeps going, keeps writing despite difficult times, and how she personally makes it work when life sucks. Her LGBTQ+ book, Take Them by Storm, is a lesbian YA novel, third in a series that doesn’t need to be read in order.

 

Almost everyone I know can agree on one thing if nothing else: 2016 sucked. For me personally it was one of the most difficult years of my life, and then throw in what was happening around the world and my brain felt like a chaotic mess.

All of this affected my writing. I had so much going on in my life that was preventing me from writing, and then throw in depression and anxiety that was exacerbated by everything happening in the world, and I lost most of my motivation. I was easily distracted. For the first time in my life, I didn’t want to write. It wasn’t the refuge it had always been, a way to escape the real world. Instead I buried myself in other people’s writing, and I channeled my creativity into bookstagram, after reading these tips for your bookstagram.

Polycule

Polycule: Gizzards

• 3700 words •11-18 min • Content warning: This episode deals with…

• 3700 words •11-18 min •

My cartoon face saying

Content warning: This episode deals with acephobia, transphobia, and sex in clinical but graphic terms. Those who are triggered by their asexuality being dismissed or treated as a disorder, or by trans identities being reduced to genitalia, ought to skip this one. I offer hugs on your way out. 🙁

Gizzards was an allocishet dude, a giant nerd, who was excited about Pokemon, and had a witty way with words that made our banter hilarious. His personality meshed well with mine – a mixture of intellectual, sarcastic,
and a giant goofball. I had messaged him around the same time as The Ghost, but it wasn’t until the day after that date (literally, hours after returning home) that we switched from dating website to text.

Our conversation tended to wander between Pokemon (Sun and Moon had just come out two days before and we were both sending screenshots and brainstorming good punny names for our newly caught babies) and sex/polyamory/etc. because Gizzards was in college to be a sex therapist, worked in a sort of halfway house for mentally ill people, and had only just started living the polyamorous life a few months ago. He was passionate about each subject and asked me abrupt questions from nowhere such as “What are your thoughts on porn?” (My thoughts: Uh it’s not for me, and I have serious concerns regarding how the actors are treated although I know some people who often watch it on https://www.tubev.sex/channels).